Outside of card reads: If I had to choose between you and coffee, I would choose you.
Inside reads: But I would resent you for the rest of your life
And that, folks, is the secret to relationships in a nutshell. Compromise. And then leveraging that compromise over the following decades to win arguments.
This card is a lovely, satisfyingly big A5 size (148 × 210 millimeters) because if you give people small cards then you quantifiably don't love them as much. However, if you live overseas, I do sell it in a smaller size so you can avoid paying the higher postage fees.
The card comes with a free, complimentary envelope, because I am nice like that, and also because it's kind of expected that cards come with envelopes but if I don't expressly state that to be the case I will probably get questions about it. It's also sealed in a cellophane wrapper.
It's printed on very nice, heavy 350 gsm card too.
(Card also available in BACON sentiment)